Almost there

Presents, love, and cake are all appreciated!

I have to share the really sweet moment I had earlier with Abby.

I was putting her to bed and she wanted to hear a story. As usual, she chose I Love You Stinky Face. So we read that and as I was putting her in her bed....

Abby: "Will you always take care of me Mommy?"
Me: "Of course I will. I will always love you too."

I covered her up and made sure that her bedtime friends were tucked in with her. I wound up her ballerina music box, said goodnight and walked toward the door.

Abby: "Goodnight Mommy. I love you stinky face."
Me: "I love you too stinky face."

It's moments like that when I am reminded how truly blessed I am to be a mother.

Being poor

My friend Alycia emailed me this and I thought it was good. I've been here before when I was a single mom and could relate to some of these.
"I thought many of you would be interested in the below article written up in the Commentary section of the Chicago Tribune on Thursday, September 15, 2005. It was an interesting read."


BEING POOR
By John Scalzi

BEING POOR is knowing exactly how much everything costs.
BEING POOR is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV.
BEING POOR is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn.
BEING POOR is hoping the toothache goes away.
BEING POOR is knowing your kid goes to friends' houses but never has friends over to yours. BEING POOR is going to the restroom before you get in the school lunch line so your friends will be ahead of you and won't hear you say "I get free lunch" when you get to the cashier.
BEING POOR is living next to the freeway.
BEING POOR is wondering whether your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn't mind when you ask for help.
BEING POOR is off-brand toys.
BEING POOR is a heater in only one room of the house.
BEING POOR is hoping your kids don't have a growth spurt.
BEING POOR is stealing meat from the store, frying it up before your mom gets home and then telling her she doesn't have to make dinner tonight because you're not hungry anyway.
BEING POOR is not enough space for everyone who lives with you.
BEING POOR is feeling the glued soles tear off your supermarket shoes when you run around the playground.
BEING POOR is your kid's school being the one with the 15-year old textbooks and no air conditioning.
BEING POOR is thinking $8 an hour is a really good deal.
BEING POOR is relying on people who don't give a damn about you.
BEING POOR is finding the letter your mom wrote to your dad begging him for the child support.
BEING POOR is a bathtub you have to empty into the toilet.
BEING POOR is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.
BEING POOR is making lunch for your kid when a cockroach skitters over the bread, and you looking over to see whether your kid saw.
BEING POOR is believing a GED actually makes a difference.
BEING POOR is people angry at you just for walking around in the mall.
BEING POOR is not taking the job because you can't find someone you trust to watch your kids. BEING POOR is the police busting into the apartment right next to yours.
BEING POOR is not talking to that girl because she'll just laugh at your clothes.
BEING POOR is hoping you'll be invited for dinner.
BEING POOR is a sidewalk with lots of brown glass on it.
BEING POOR is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.
BEING POOR is needing that 35-cent raise.
BEING POOR is your kid's teacher assuming you don't have any books in your home.
BEING POOR is $6 short on the utility bill and no way to close the gap.
BEING POOR is crying when you drop the mac and cheese on the floor.
BEING POOR is knowing you work as hard as anyone, anywhere.
BEING POOR is people surprised to discover you're not actually lazy.
BEING POOR is never buying anything someone else hasn't bought first.
BEING POOR is picking the 10-cent ramen noodles instead of the 12-cent ramen noodles because that's two extra packages for every dollar.
BEING POOR is getting tired of people wanting you to be grateful.
BEING POOR is knowing you're being judged.
BEING POOR is a box of crayons and a $1 coloring book from a community center Santa. BEING POOR is checking the coin return slot of every soda machine you go by.
BEING POOR is deciding that it's all right to base a relationship on shelter.
BEING POOR is hoping the register lady will spot you the dime.
BEING POOR is feeling helpless when your children make the same mistakes you did and won't listen to you beg them against doing so.
BEING POOR is a cough that doesn't go away.
BEING POOR is making sure you don't spill on the couch, just in case you have to give it back before the lease is up.
BEING POOR is a $200 paycheck advance from a company that takes $250 when the paycheck comes in.
BEING POOR is four years of night classes for an associate of arts degree.
BEING POOR is a lumpy futon bed.
BEING POOR is knowing where the shelter is.
BEING POOR is people who have never been poor wondering why you choose to be
BEING POOR is knowing how hard it is to stop being poor.
BEING POOR is seeing how few options you have.
BEING POOR is running in place.
BEING POOR is people wondering why you didn't leave.
John Scalzi is the author of "Old Man's War"

Happiness is a hello kitty bag

Have I mentioned lately how much I *love* my new Hello Kitty bag?







I got it from Ruby Roxx from her website www.rubyroxx.com. I absolutely love it. It's
just the perfect size to carry all my junk to school and all my
important stuff everywhere.

I can't wait to to get the cupcake bag I ordered from her. Then I
can rotate my super cute bags. Happy happy joy joy!



BTW, if you order from her...mention my name!

Gas

Primal scream time

This would be one of those mornings where I just want to scream as loud as I can. If it wouldn't cause Abby to freak out and the construction workers to come check on me, I would totally do it.

I have had such a rough morning with the kids and the dog. To recap: Evan yet again did not get himself ready for school in a timely fashion. The dog both pooped and threw up on the floor. Evan decided to clean up the wood floor with a bathroom cleaner (not good for wood floor of course). I haven't had the heart to check that out thoroughly yet. Every time Evan addressed me this morning it was in the uttermost snotty voice. Abby peed on her pillow, her floor and my knee. All because she decided to take off her diaper and fling it on the floor. All this happened in the first hour I was awake.

I am now facing (in addition to my usual 4 loads of laundry), cleaning Abby's carpet and the wood floors. And probably a sick puppy for the next few hours. And I can expect to eat breakfast, oh about 1/2 past never. So why am I taking the time to blog instead of getting going on these tasks? Well because if I don't vent, I'm going to have to let out that primal scream. And I already told you why I can't do that.

Now if I still worked full-time, by now I'd be on my way to work. Where at least I could go to the bathroom alone and take my time in there. No one would pee on me. I wouldn't have to do laundry. I could sit in a chair. I could have a lunch break (an hour) to be alone. I would also have the 45 minute commute...alone. Some days I miss working. Today would be one of those days. I swear that the next person who tells me being a stay-at-home mom is easy is going to wish they hadn't opened their mouth.

Bound Feet and Western Dress

I just finished reading a wonderful book called "Bound Feet and Western Dress" by Pang-Mei Natasha Chang

From Publishers Weekly:
"In this exquisite memoir, Chang Yu-i, the daughter of a distinguished Chinese family, recreates her life for her American-born grandniece, Pang-Mei, a Harvard student who is conflicted about her identity. Born in 1900, during the Boxer Rebellion, Yu-i was a victim of the tension between Western ideas and Chinese tradition. Her parents were sufficiently progressive not to insist on binding her feet but nevertheless believed that a woman was nothing except the obedient servant of her husband, in-laws and children. Dutifully, Yu-i accepted the marriage they arranged for her to Hsu Chi-mo, a poet so entranced by Western culture that, on their wedding night, he declared his intention to have the first Western-style divorce in China. Although this did not happen at once, after Yu-i had born him a son and submitted to several years of his cruelty, he deserted her while she was again pregnant. Refusing his demand that she abort the child, but ashamed to face disgrace at home, and rejecting thoughts of suicide, she joined her brother in Germany, where she educated herself, becoming a teacher and a successful businesswoman, eventually the first woman vice-president of the Shanghai Women's Bank. "

I loved this book because although it was a non-fiction book, it was an easy read. This was also a nice glimpse into live as a woman in China before Communism.

My heart broke for Yu-i as she endured her marriage to a cruel man and again as she faced the world alone and pregnant. Yu-i never failed to show her strength as a woman, mother, sister and daughter.

I'm *not* going back to work, so stop asking!

Stay at home moms, I know you'll *get* this....

First of all let me start of with saying that my position on the question of working vs. staying home is this:There is no *right* answer. There is only the answer that is right for your family. I think most moms are conflicted about their decision not matter what it may be. For my family, the decision was for me to stay home.

I cannot count how many insensitive, unthinking and rude things have been said to me since I quit working my full-time job in the workforce to be a full-time stay at home mom. It has been assumed:
*I am lazy.
*I do nothing all day.
*Being a SAHM is easy.
*Being a SAHM is boring.

First of all I don't have time to get bored. Ha. To the other 3 comments, I say this: I work from the time I get up in the morning (between 6:30-7:30 depending on the day) and the time I go to bed at night, usually around midnight. I work every day, even when I'm sick, tired, sad or on vacation with my family. So I'm not lazy. It's not easy, boring or a "do nothing" type of situation.

I have been asked when I'm going back to work. As though staying home with my children is only acceptable for a certain amount of time. Who can really define how long they *need* me at home anyway? Does a teenager need his mom less than a toddler? Who can be sure? This question doubly annoys me because everyone who knows me is aware that I am a full time college student. Although I will be graduating with my A.A in Political Science this December that doesn't mean that I'm finished or that I could get a suitable job because I will have that degree. Anyone who has listened to my endless ramblings about my career ambitions knows that I plan on going on to get my B.A. in Political Science and to follow with post-graduate education. So I'm far from done with school. Being a college student alone is a "full-time job".

Believe it or not, I have even been told that I should obey my husband because he makes the money. Well, nuts to that! *He* is the one working because his job paid more than mine and provided more opportunity for advancement. Otherwise he would have quit to stay home when Abby was born. We actually save money this way.

So to those out there who think stay at home moms have it easy, we don't.

It's not that complaining about being a stay at home mom. I love being a SAHM. I adore my kids and I love being with them. I'm happy with my choice to stay home. What I don't enjoy is being belittled about my choice or the insinuations that I'm not as good a person as moms who work outside the home.

Hot pink heaven

I updated my pink-ness and I'm loving it!
For those who are curious, I used 2/3 Manic Panic Hot Hot Pink mixed with 1/3 of Special Effects Cupcake Pink.

Gut rot and other fun

I believe that Josh's cashew chicken from last night is rotting my guts. I feel like arse. My stomach is crampy and my bum is busy. LOL. It sux. I was walking the dog earlier and thought I'd fall over on the grass and die. Luckily I didn't. I am also dizzy. But this is most likely due to sleep deprivation (nightly panic attack fun) and not taking Paxil for 2 days. Shame on me.

But I have returned from Sally's and now I can pink up my hair and this makes me soooo happy.

I also really love my house. Every time I come home, I think "why did I ever leave?".

Abby is going to hang out with me and we are will watch Spongebob and play pink hair while she eats popcorn. She's a popcorn fiend.

Look forward to pink hair picture posting later! Yippee!

Puppy love

I love that our puppy Gracie picks my feet to lay by. I like it best when she lays across my feet. She is so warm and snuggly. Puppies are sweet little creatures.

Word verification

So you've probably noticed that you have to do the whole word verification bit when you post a comment. It's not cuz I'm weird. It's because I've been getting comment spam. Hopefully this will cut down on it. My brilliant friend Alycia recommended this idea to me. So far it's helping!

Mommy, it's yellow!

I bleached my hair last night and the best I got to was yellow, which Abby proudly pointed out to me this morning. LOL. That was after 2 bleachings too. So this morning Abby and I shall go over to Sally's and get some more bleach. I think I might pick up some MP Hot hot pink and mix it with the Cupcake pink I have for a change. I stayed up until midnight last night doing my hair. I think this was good though because then I actually slept throught the night which is something I've had a problem with.

Packing my bags

Well I wish I were anyway. I so wish I could buy this house

Seriously when Josh and I are done with school I would love to move to San Francisco and buy a little place in the city. It would have to have a water view and a fireplace. I love San Francisco.

21 more days 'till my birthday!

I am trying to embrace the fact that I will be turning 29. It's hard, but I'm trying. Getting excited about celebrating the day is somewhat helpful. I made a *wish list* at Torrid (love that place!).

Check 'er out!

and Amazon.com:
Books rock my world!

Used books are awesome, BTW! That way I don't feel guilty if I crease a page.

2am and wide awake

It's nearly 2 am and everyone is sleeping but me. I got up to shut the windows because I heard thunder and now I can't get back to sleep. I hate when that happens.

Cyooot!

Make a dolly!

I stumbled across this cute dollmaker and had a bunch of fun with it. Look at the girl I made.

snore

Me: Dude, I am so tired.

The feedback I got was...
Evan: Just go back to sleep then.
Abby: Let's snuggle Mommy.
Dog: woof, woof, woof.

I think I'll go with the snuggling....

Just eating a banana and chillin'

We went out to dinner with Matt and Celia tonight. We went over to Qdoba because we all had good coupons from there that we "won" at Cornfest. It was yummy. Kids behaved kinda yucky, but we had a good time regardless.

Josh cleaned the garage and apparently there were 2 boxes left that I never unpacked. Evan and I did that tonight. He helped me in exchange for a sundae. Kids are so easy to bribe.

We had to wash out Gracie's ear with doggie ear wash. Ewww. And she hated it. She chased me around biting my feet after we were done. I made her up a cute little doggy bed and put it in the dining room. It's just a basket with an old blanket in there but she likes it.

I think I'm going to chill tonight and watch my Africa tapes. I like my Africa telecourse.


Nighty nite!

TGIF!

Thank goodness it's Friday. I'm so worn out. This should be a nice relaxing weekend for us. Tonight Josh it out with Matt. Evan stayed up late and we talked, he had ice cream and we watched TV. It was nice to hang out with him. I can't believe how fast he's growing up. *sob*

I'm going to go dig into some of my homework. It's nice and quiet so I can get some reading done. I have a Mint Frappaccino waiting for me too. Yum!

Good news!

Josh's Grandma was moved to a rehab section of the hospital and is expected to make a recovery. What a difference a few days makes! We are very happy and relieved.

Tired

I am so tired today. I wish I could back to bed. I'm tired like all the time. I was thinking something was wrong with me, but when I stop and think about it I have a lot of reasons to be tired. I'm a momma and I have a very energetic 3 yr. old with me all day. I am a full-time college student. I've also been under a lot of stress lately.

No news is good news

Nothing has changed with Josh's Grandma. I'm hoping that she isn't as bad off as they first thought.

Heard around my house...

Me (to Abby): What are you doing?
(waving butterfly net)Abby: I'm a dog catcher.
Me: Don't put the puppy in your net!
(Abby smacks net down narrowly missing the puppy)
Abby: I wanna be a bad girl!

Sad news

Josh got news this morning that his Dad's mother had a stroke. They don't expect her to make it. Josh isn't sure if he wants to go down there now or wait until the funeral. Isn't that awful to have to think that way? My mom agreed to take the puppy and we will all drive down.

Just call me pinky!

Thanks for the input about what I should do with my hair. I decided to go with the pink chunk. I started Friday night and finished tonight.

Before:

During:

Foil nugget

Bleachy blue

I feel so...Flock of Seagulls.

And voila, the end result:

There's more or less pink depending on where I part it.

Happily Ever After....

Alycia's wedding was so beautiful. They had it in a forest preserve, so it was outside. It was the perfect place for her. She is a Wiccan and a nature lover and she was surrounded by natural beauty on her wedding day. There was a squirrel in the tree watching the happy couple and a chirping bird (who kinda sounded like a monkey) chiming in as they said their vows. It was so beautiful.

Alycia was so beautiful. She is always beautiful to me, inside and out. I swear on my Hello Kitty collection that you will never meet a more kind and unselfish person than Alycia. I felt like the universe was finally in harmony now that this wonderful woman was united with her perfect man. I couldn't help as I stood there listening to their vows, but think of my own wedding day. I reached for Josh's hand knowing he was thinking the same thing and gave him a squeeze. We've been tested on our vows:

For richer or for poorer, yep.
For better or worse, yep.
In sickness and in health, definitely.
Forsaking all others, not a problem...I only have eyes for Josh.

I really love my husband. And I love being at weddings and remembering our wedding day. Although it was a little bumpy, it was the happiest day of my life. I waited my whole life for the perfect guy to come along. I struggled through broken hearts, crises, and lost dreams. And just when I thought I would never find Mr. Right, I realized he was right next to me every day at work. After some shameless flirting and a hot dinner date, the rest as they say was history. And now I get my happily ever after. Just as Alycia does.

No more spam

Someone has been choosing to spam my comments. Knock it off, weirdo. So comments are now for registered users only.

Lotsa pictures

My close friend Alycia got married yesterday (expect a sappy introspective post from me later on). Here are some pics from her wedding!

Yup, that's my spikey head in the way! Alycia and her step-dad, Donny walking down the aisle.

Spreading sage incense around the bride and groom. Alycia is a Wiccan princess and this is part of her tradition.

More incense

Exchanging rings...this is when I started crying with joy.

My best friend Amy, and half of her husband Matt. I swear I'd only had one glass of wine when the goofy pictures started.

Me and Josh at the reception. Aww, we're tired and buzzed.

The wedding party

Rob and Alycia's first dance!

Alycia's dance with her Step-Daddy and part of Brandi's hubby's head.

Dancing bride!

Josh, Grandpa Dude and Abby walkin' down the street

My hubby drivin' in the car on the way home from the wedding

Silly random pic of Josh's knee and my keys. See Mr. Frump there hiding behind the purse...

My "Oh yeah" face. hee hee

Hair in love

My new pink chunky hair. I'm going to try to get that pink brighter tonight.

I'm tired and not nearly pink enough...

So I stayed up past 2:30 last night trying to get my hair how I want it. The dark brown is great except it won't come off my skin. This is disappointing because I used Vaseline on my skin to prevent this very problem. Also, my pink is not pink enough for my liking. Instead of being a hot pink, it's more of a raspberry color. You can bet your button I'll be correcting that later. But for now I have a wedding to get ready to go to.

You can help Hurricane Katrina victims and it won't cost you a thing.

Oxygen is donating $1 (up to $10,000) for every person who fills out this form. It's easy, so please do it:

Click it!

EKG results

The doctor's office called and Abby's EKG results were normal too. I relax a little more now. Now we just have to get through that cardiologist visit at the end of October. I do feel better though now that both tests didn't show a problem.

:-(

I feel so bad for the people living in the south affected by Katrina. I just can't imagine losing everything like that. I wonder how many of them will have to move to another state and give up the life they knew. I was reading the Chicago Tribune and the pictures are just so sad. There is one of a mother holding her 9 week (!) old baby trying to comfort her.

I think for once I'm relieved to live in the boring Midwest. At least my family is safe. I really just can't fathom what those people are going through.

Spongebob

Why is it that Spongebob is square but his parents and grandma are round?