My Grandma passed away

I haven't updated in awhile because I've been having a really hard time with the passing of my Grandma. She left us early Sunday morning.

It is hard getting back into the swing of things. I am behind in my housework, homework and sleep. And I don't much feel like catching up on any of it besides the sleep.

Mary Elizabeth Frye (1904-)
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight.
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there -- I do not die.

Harold and Kumar, a must see!

Josh and I just watched "Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle". I needed to watch a funny to take my mind off of things. This was the funniest movie I've seen in a long long time. I can't wait to get a copy on DVD and watch it over and over again. Check it out: http://www.haroldandkumar.com/

P.S. Kumar is SUCH A CUTIE!!!!

It's been a rough few days...

My Grandma is still hanging in there although it seems she is worse each time I see her. The doctor has said twice now that she would pass "today or tomorrow", but she has been hanging on for 4 days now. I am not sure what she's waiting for, but it seems as though she is waiting for something before she lets go.

The waiting is hell on us. We've all been to see her. It's hard to sit there next to her, holding her hand, watching her, saying good bye and crying day after day. Every time the phone rings we jump, because this time it could be THE CALL.

I hope that she will pass peacefully and painlessly. I hope that those of us she leaves behind will be able to be strong and face the loss.

.............
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face...You must do the thing you cannot do."
— Eleanor Roosevelt

Hi Ho!

Do you need a laugh? Check this out!

http://mirrors.phauna.org/pub/hiho/

What Really Matters....

Today I spent the day at my Grandma's side in the hospital. She is dying.

I hope that I was able to provide her and her two daughters (my mother and aunt) with some comfort. My sister and I held each other up through our sadness.

It is on days like this that you find yourself with alot of time to reflect on what is really important in life. It is easy to get wrapped in the day to day nonsense. Just yesterday I was feeling sorry for myself that my house was going to be late. Today that seems so insignificant compared to the suffering of a woman that I love so dearly.

I try desperately not to think of her being old and sick. I try to think of the woman who loved me, the woman who loved us all so unselfishly. I think of the woman who was delighted when I announced that I was pregnant at 17. She was the one, the only one who found some good in what everyone else considered to be a tragedy. Rather than thinking of the negative, she focused on the fact that she would be a great grandmother and have a baby to hold in her arms. I think of her making me summer sausage sandwiches and cookies. I think of her scolding me for dressing her dog, Muffet up in doll clothes. That is the Grandma that I'm trying to hold on to.

Today I pray that that Grandma will soon be one of Jesus's angels. I pray that this worn out body will finally allow her beautiful soul to be at peace.
..............
"There is often more wisdom to be found at the edges of life than in its middle. A life-threatening illness, for instance, may shuffle our values like a deck of cards. Sometimes a card that has been on the bottom of the deck for most of our lives turns out to be the top card, the thing that really matters. Having watched people sort their cards and play their hands in the presence of death for many years, I would say that most often the top card is love."

.....Rachel Naomi Remen

5 More Months....

Our new home was supposed to be completed by April 1st. So we sold our current home and set up a closing date of April 1st. Saturday we received a letter that our townhouse is going to be delayed until the end of June. OMG. Well we had suspected that we were looking at a late delivery, but not 3 months late.

Luckily our builder is providing us with 1/2 price rent in the next town. Phew!

I start school tonight. I am super nervous about it for some reason. It's a Children's Literature class, hopefully it will be fun. I can also start my International Relations class tonight. That one is online. Wish me luck!

My boy is great!

I had an ultra rough morning today. It's been over a week that I have had insomnia. I get my best sleep between 3am and 7am and since I'm sleeping deeply, I have a hard time waking up. This morning I woke up to Abby crying because she had taken off her diaper and peed everywhere. And oh boy, do I mean everywhere. Her poor little baby doll bared the brunt of the leak. Needless to say I had to get her in the bath, clean up and calm her down. And all this in addition to my usual morning mania that involves getting them both breakfast, making sure Evan is ready for school and getting Abby dressed.

I thought my head was going to explode just trying to figure out how to get everything accomplished.

I was so lucky though because today Evan had gotten dressed, done his bathroom stuff, eaten breakfast and made his lunch all without being asked. He was also willing to help me out while I ran around like a nutball trying to get Abby taken care of. And he did it without a word of complaining. I was not only very relieved, but quite proud of him for being helpful on a rough morning. I'm a lucky momma.

Awww....

This morning before leaving for the bus, Evan said to me "Wow, you have to work nonstop until naptime!"


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The wisdom of a 9 year old boy.

I love my belly dance dvd

My sweet hubby bought me a belly dance dvd for Christmas. It's an exercise video. I really recommend it if you want to feel sexy while you work out.
check it out!

Yesterday was dumb...

Started the day off arguing with Evan about feet fungus cream. He has a nasty case of athlete's foot and doesn't seem interested in making it go away. The doctor gave him some prescription cream for it. I told him it was time to put it on and he said "NO! and that's final." Uh, yeah....

Then, he had a snow day and got to stay home from school. Lucky me, not. Actually he turned into a little angel once he figured out he'd be home all day. I guess he didn't want me to turn into Mommy the Punisher and send him to his room for the foot cream refusal.

Since it snowed all day long, we didn't get to go to Carole's swearing in ceremony. Josh and I were really looking forward to that. Bummer.

Instead we took a nap. Like the longest nap ever. Apparently we even had a conversation during our nap. My mom called and Josh talked to her and I commented on it. I don't remember a darn bit of this either. Our nap wound up lasting until 8:00pm. Yep 8:00pm. We are officially the worst parents ever. Abby was in her crib and Evan just never thought to wake us up I guess. You'd have thought that:
A) He'd have woken up us because of the time
B) She would have been screaming
C) They'd both be hungry and not happy about it

But, no... So we got up and ordered a pizza. I'm embarrased to admit that my 2nd thought after waking up (my 1st thought was about the kids' comfort of course) was OMG, Alias is on! So we all watched Alias and sat on the floor eating pizza.

We'll be setting an alarm from now on if we take a nap.

Sometimes, if you aren't sure about something, you have to just jump off the bridge and grow wings on your way down.

....Danielle Steel

So it's 2005....

It should be an exciting year for us. We will have our new house in the spring. I will have my A.A. in Political Science in December too. I can't wait!

New Year's Eve we hung out with my sister and her boyfriend. We had fun playing Operation and drinking wine. Josh cooked up a yummy Middle Eastern feast for us. Cassandra and I even managed to sneak away to Eduardo's and have a drink.

New Year's Day, my parents and aunt came over for a Mexican fiesta cooked by Josh of course. We were supposed to do Thai food, but Thai Pavillion had the nerve to be closed. We were going to order some side dishes from there. But it worked out just fine anyways and good times were had by all.

Cassandra decided to belly dance the night away. Foxy lady!



Sisterly love, aww.....