WARNING: Attack crab on premises!

So my family came over yesterday for a little birthday party for my momma. I introduced everyone to Mr. Crabs. I don't know if Mr. Crabs was feeling freaked out or mean or what, but he attacked! Adam was holding him and Mr. Crabs pinched and would not let go. I mean it doesn't hurt that bad when they pinch, it's more like a funny feeling. But goodness, the refusal to let go... I just felt so bad for Adam.

Grrr @ Walmart, etc....

I hate Walmart. For lots of reasons, but here are my top 5:

1. It is always dirty.
2. Walmart is a dirty unethical company.
3. There are lots of stupid and crazy people shopping in there when I'm there.
4. Shopping at Walmart gives me panic attacks.
5. The employees are generally_______. Choose an adjective: rude, scary, stinky, stupid, unhelpful, sullen, surly, mean, missing in action, lazy.

Disclaimer: Not all Walmart employees suck, but in my experience 99.9% of them are up to no good.

Check out this guy's website, he works at Walmart yet feels much like I do:
http://wallyworldlife.com/

I would also like to take this time to complain that I hate my neighbors. Thank you and have a nice day!

Today I'm clean but apparently crazy...

I got to take a shower today while Dora was on woohoo! I had to get going on this mountain of homework. While I took a break and ate my lunch, I took a personality test. Luckily I'm not a schizophrenic, but I did get some high marks on other things.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Sparklefluff the Unclean

The new yucky phenomenon that I'm experiencing is 1pm showers. Yes, that's 1pm, no mistake there. Since Abby has moved down to 1 nap which she doesn't take until after lunchtime, I can't take a shower until 1pm. I used to get my shower at 10am when she took her first of 2 naps. But not anymore....

I am one of those people who has to be all dressed to feel motivated to do anything. So I find myself sitting around in my pj's playing with Abby or folding laundry until 1pm. Not that mind doing either. In fact I'm always thankful when she deems me worthy of playing with. But I would be so much more productive if I was just dressed.

I find myself thinking that I really need better pajamas. I mean if I'm wearing them for like 18 hours, they better be comfy AND stylin' right? So until I can come up with some solution that doesn't require me getting up at 5:30, here I sit in my stinkin' pajamas. At least they are cute ones today....

By the way, if you are driving through my neighborhood before 1am, hold your nose!

Insert evil laugh here

After getting into a physical fight yet again over something SOOOOO STOOOOOPID as Yu Gi Oh cards, hubby and I have decided to seize them. And not just take them away for awhile, but SELL them. Yes, that's right sell them on Ebay. I have threatened it before, but this time I actually did it. I wanted to start at them out at a penny just to be ultra mean, but instead I went for .99. I had to cover my listing fees and hey, my time is worth money. I've wasted a lot of time dealing with Yu Gi Oh fights. So anyway, check it out:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=5922693567&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT

My daughter, the darling young Democrat....

Abby and I were watching Oprah this morning when Peter Jennings broke in to announce that Pres. Bush would be giving a presidential address. Not wanting to hear anymore of his lies myself, I decided to change channels. A few minutes later I accidently switched back to ABC, and Abby cries out "Oh no!" at the very sight of Bush. It was a proud proud moment. We both felt much better when we switched back to Sesame Street.

Introducing Mr. Crabs!

Friday, we all went to the pet store to find a new roomie for Pinchy. We picked out this cute little crabbie that Evan named Mr. Crabs. Pinchy is not depressed anymore now that his new little buddy is here to witness his climbing antics.



Pinchy is also relieved to know that Mr. Crabs is proficient with the internet and can order up some crabby treats any time they get a hankering.

If only Pinchy hadn't let the sock monkey run up his credit card ordering pom poms to adorn his monkey outfit....

Do crabs get depressed?

I think it's possible that my little crabby pattie is depressed. Ever since Marie-Antoinette died, Pinchy is acting odd. He isn't as active and he keeps burrowing in his sand. He switches from corner to corner. I miss his wee beady eyes staring at me. I hardly get to see them anymore because he's so busy sulking. I am going to have to try to get the pet store tomorrow and get him a new roommate. Poor little crabby pie.

It turns out that fat girls don't flip

As I posted earlier, Hapkido isn't fat friendly. Well I had decided to give it a whirl, stick with it, see what happened. Well tonight we had to learn how to fall. Learning to fall sounds pretty innocent doesn't it? Well it's not. It involves not only somersault types of rolls but actually flipping over your heard from a standing postion. Well there are 2 rules that I have:
1. I don't run on purpose...ever.

2. I don't flip for any reason.

It was one of the more humiliating nights of my life as I tried to do confrom and do the flipping. First I approached it calmly. I said to myself "You really have no choice here without causing a scene. Just get on that mat and roll." So it's my turn and naturally I'm last so everyone is staring at me. I should also mention that this is the one night where all the people who haven't shown up previously decide to come. So there are like 12 people staring at me instead of the usual 4. I try the rolling and I cheat and roll sideways. Well of course Faux Bloodbat (my teacher who looks like Bloodbat but isn't as cool) isn't having any of that. So he gets down beside me and shows me how to do an actual somersault. I tell him that I'm scared. And then as I try to roll over, I'm paralyzed with fear, all my joints lock up and I crumple up on the floor. AAAAAAH!

After this he shows us how we will be throwing people and the like. I don't mind learning HOW TO THROW. I mind being thrown. I tell my partner, "if you throw me I will cry". She half-assed giggles and agrees there will be no throwing.

Somehow I got through that class. And the minute that I was safely in my car, I called my sister who I knew would understand. Needless to say, my Hapkido career is over.

I'm no spring chicken

On Monday nights I have a Biology lab class. I really enjoy this class which is surprising because I typically don't do well in Math or Science classes and therefore do not enjoy them. But this class is actually interesting. I do notice that everyone in my class seems to be about 12. No seriously they are probably 18, but good grief that makes them TEN years younger than I am. Tonight my teacher (who is also probably 18) asks if we have ever used a microscope before. I paused to try to remember...where there even such things as microscopes back in the dark ages of 1990? That is after all when I took Biology in high school. I am sorry to say that I couldn't remember either way. This lack of memory naturally just proves that I'm getting old....

Never forget

Today is September 11th and we may all be thinking of that sunny gorgeous day 3 years ago when so many people died as a result of terrorist attacks on our country. We should think of those victims and their families not only today, but every day.

As we are hurrying off to work, we should think of how those people at the Pentagon and the World Trade Center hurried off to work that day. They never knew that they wouldn't be coming home at the end of the day. They might have discussed lunch plans with their co-workers not knowing that everything would change long before noon. Think of them as you are aggravated with your loved ones, at least you are still with them. Stop and think when you feel that life is just too much bear, you are alive and that is something to be thankful for.

I will never forget September 11, 2001. It was a beautiful sunny day. On the car ride to work I was thinking of how it would have been a good day to call in and enjoy the sunshine instead. It was less than a month to my wedding and it would have been so lovely to relax for the day. As I sat at my desk in a cheerful mood, I overheard someone say that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I remember thinking how awful that was and thinking of the families of those victims. I was completely shocked a short while later when I heard about the second plane and the Pentagon. Someone finally turned on the radio so that we could hear what was going on. I remember sitting at my desk in shock. We were under attack and who knew where they would strike next.

My fiance', who I worked with wasn't in the building with me that morning. He was at a class he was taking about 20 minutes away. I felt very sick knowing that he wasn't there with me. I felt much worse thinking of my little boy at school, not knowing what the teachers would say to him. I didn't want him to be afraid. I kept hoping that our government office would allow us to go home for the day so our family could be together. Instead I wound up spending my lunch hour with Josh in the car listening to the radio. That day seemed to go on forever.

I felt relieved when it was finally 4:30 and time to go home and pick up my son from daycare. I was glad to know that the school had decided to leave it up to the parents to tell the kids what had happened. We talked to him and tried to shield him from the images on tv. I don't know what we did the rest of that night, but I know that I never fell asleep. I laid awake all night listening to the silence. I live out in the country so we don't usually hear a lot of airplanes flying overhead on their way to Chicago, but we do hear private planes a lot. The silence was deafening. It was the first time in my life that I felt really afraid but it was nothing compared to how the victim's families were feeling.

Here is a list of the victims from September 11th. http://www.september11victims.com/september11victims/victims_list.htm Please take a moment to read it and remember.

As 28 approaches, it's time to reflect.

Here's some reading material while you are munching on those cheese fries... You're an eighties child if ...

You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members. You wanted to be on StarSearch. You ever uttered the word "Radical!" You wore jelly shoes and jelly bracelets You thought "Ghostbusters" was by far the coolest movie You remember watching shows like "Punky Brewster" , "Webster", "You Can't Do That On Television" , "Wild&Crazy Kids" and "Double Dare" You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off. Or even when he had those freaky eyes in "Thriller" at the end of the video. You wore a banana clip in your hair or one of those slap on wrist bands at some point during your youth. You rolled up the bottoms of your splatter painted jeans. You wore loafers with everything, and you put the laces in those little rolls. You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt at least once. You owned a doll with 'Xavier Roberts' signed on it's butt. You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout." You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off." You can name half of the members of the elite "Brat Pack." You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours! You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock. You yearned to be a member of The Babysitters Club, and tried to start a club of your own. You sat on your back porch, playing with your "My Little Pony" , "Rainbow Brite" , and "Strawberry Shortcake" dolls You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer." You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future." You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody knows your name." You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool. You know what "sike" and "not!" mean You fell victim to 80's fashion : big hair, crimped, combed over to the side, big hoop earrings, and possibly the worst:you wore spandex pants. You wanted to be a Goonie, or Elliot from E.T. You owned an extensive collection of Cabbage Patch Kids and trolls. You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince." You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played "Sam" to be. You ever wore flourescent -neon if you will clothing.... You could breakdance, or wished you could. You know who He-Man and She-Ra are. You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system. You know all the words to "Ice Ice Baby". You remember MC hammer well. You can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Belair". You own any cassettes. You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon. You remember and/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from PizzaHut. Pizza Hut was the coolest place to hang. Poltergeist freaked you out. You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an E.T. lunchbox. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf. You wanted to communicate with some being named Cinergy, or you wanted green hair like that lead singer of the Misfits. You totally LOVED Barbie's cooler, punkier counterpart, "Jem" and her "Rockers" You wanted to have an alien like Alf living in your house. You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish. You wore tights under shorts and felt stylish. You layered your multi-colored slouch socks, and added suspenders to make your outfit complete. You ever had a Swatch Watch. You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect the care-bear stare. You had a crush on one of the Coreys You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny. You had WonderWoman or Superman underwear. You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween. You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power" You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye. Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away!!!!!!!!!!!!! You ever owned or wanted any of the NKOTB action figures or dolls. You remember when Deborah Gibson was "Debbie" Gibson.

Ok, no wonder I'm fat!

My family is busy 5 days a week. Two nights I have classes. Two days my hubby and son go to karate. One night a week I have my belly dancing class. With as busy as this family is, it's no surprise that we are always rushing in and out the door. All that rushing doesn't leave a lot of time to cook healthy meals. I think we have eaten out or ordered in nearly every day this week. Why is it that the healthy stuff takes so darn long to prepare anyway? And why does the fast food have to taste SO GOOD?!? Ponder this while you munch on some cheese fries. Mmmm, cheese fries...I wonder if Tom and Jerry's is still open....

When the going gets tough, your friends still love you!

When the chips are down you find out who your real friends are. I've been going through a rough time with the loss of Josh's Memaw and the issues with my own grandma. It's been hard for me to deal with and there have been times where the sadness has been overwhelming. Adding to those feelings is the stress of trying to get our home ready to sell so we can buy a new one. It's been during the last few weeks that I've noticed who really cares about me. Thank you to those who have been supportive. I couldn't have made it through without your strength and kindness.

Today our lives turn a corner. This afternoon we are going to sign the contract for our new home and get our current home listed. We are moving out of this nasty neighborhood to a nicer one. We are moving to a house that is 1.5 times bigger than the one we live in. I feel like we are providing our kids with a better life and new opportunities.

I also expect that my Grandma will be moved into a nursing home today where she can get the care she needs. It gives me alot of peace to know that she is going to be taken care of. There are still some issues that need to be dealt with and they are stressful. I feel like I can get through them now though, especially with the love and support of my friends and family.

Shimmy shimmy

I know I've mentioned this before, but I love belly dancing! My sister (well especially her) are totally into it. I think it's a great way for a girl to get some excersize and learn to feel really good about her body. You know I used to be embarrassed of my rather large hips, but I've learned they are sexy and womanly. And they are fun to shake around!

Unfortunately there aren't alot of resources for the plus size gal interested in shaking her thang. It's hard to find a costume that you can actually afford. Ebay is the best resource for a hot costume at a good deal. There are some other sites out there that have some good ideas if you want to make your own costume and some suggestions about where to buy. Check these out:

http://www.elegantplus.com/Dance/Bellydance/misc.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/art/bbwdance/index.html

My Favorite Poem:

I haven't been updating this blog because so much is going on in my life right now that I'm trying to deal with. As you may know, my Grandma is ill and my family is wrestling with how to care for best. It is hard to see Grandma just a shell of the sweet and strong woman that I once knew. She has had a tough life and I admire for her always holding her head up high and finding small things to be joyful about.
I need your prayers and positive thoughts. I'd like to post my favorite poem. It gives me hope and strength in my darkest moments. I hope you enjoy it...


After a While
Veronica Shoffstall


After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

© 1971 Veronica A. Shoffstall

It's hard to do Math one-handed

All today Abby has been playing a game of sorts with me. She is fine running and playing until she sees Mommy sit down to do some homework. Then she HAS to be held. At first part of me felt annoyed, but then I stopped myself. I realized that the days of her wanting to be held and snuggled will soon be over and she'll be asking me to drop her off a block away from the mall. So I put my Math homework aside and joined in a toddler sized tea party instead. After all, my little princess is more important than Algebra any day!