I've got a case of the Moooooondays....

I don't know if it's because of the full moon, because it's Monday or because I have bad karma but today stinks.

I have been feeling sick last night. I have a slight fever, the chills and aches. My stomach is also intermittenly upset. Bleck! I am definitely nervous about our appraisal which we had on Friday and did not go as well as planned. But could that give me a fever? I kinda doubt it...but who knows?!?

On the upside....it snowed just a little last night and it's very pretty (especially because I don't have to go anywhere today). I decided to withdraw from my Children's Lit class so I don't have mounds of homework to do today either. Making that decision is a big load off of my shoulders. So I do get to spend today resting (as much as a mommy can) and try to feel better.

My super sweet hubby did something really really nice for me this weekend. It's a small thing but it means a lot to me. I have recently started painting and didn't have an easel, so he went out and bought me one and a palette for my paints. Actually, Josh has financed my whole painting endeavor so far.

Lemon Frosting

I have siding on my house....woohoo! It's a beautifuly lemony yellow color. 32 more days until we are supposed to close. I cannot wait!

Wisdom for today...

More venting about my troll....Grrr! Just because you dress something up in a cute little name, doesn't make you a nice person. So there!

On to happier things....

"Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself."

....Alice Walker

And that is so very true. You could wait all around forever for some people to be supportive and/or happy for you and they just won't. So instead you have to relish in your accomplishments and make your own joy.

Mean People suck

I have a troll.


I hate trolls. In my opinion, they are pathetic people.

For the worry wart

It's so easy to get wrapped up in worrying about tomorrow. It's easy to lay awake at night worrying about things that you can't control. I know because I do this most nights. I worry so much that I actually have an anxiety disorder. What do I worry about? I worry about getting my homework done, keeping my home clean enough, having enough time to spend with family and friend, and lately whether or not we will be able to move into our new house on time. In my heart I know though that I can only do my best with the things that I can control. The rest will work out as it should.

It's important to remember to savor the present. To take joy in each smile we see on a loved one's face, the laugh of a child, a beautiful sunset, in just being alive. None of us know how many tomorrows we have, so we have to try to live in the joy of today. Now if I could just take my own advice....

"Before, I always lived in anticipation...that it was all a preparation for something else, something “greater,” more “genuine.” But that feeling has dropped away from me completely. I live here and now, this minute, this day, to the full, and the life is worth living."

.....Etty Hillesum

Pictures!!!

Some updated pictures, hooray!

Me....


My old lady cat, Tigerlilly...


Young Milo who sleeps ALL day.....

Are you a drama queen?

I know I am. Take this quiz to find out if you are too.
Are You a Drama Queen?

Happy Valentine's Day!

If Thou Must Love
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for naught
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say,
“I love her for her smile - her look - her way
Of speaking gently, - for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day” -
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may
Be changed, or change for thee - and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry.
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love, thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love’s eternity.

An ode to sisters (especially mine)

After having spent a lot of time with my sister over the past week, I really feel lucky. I know that not all sisters all close, but Cassandra and I are. She is my best friend in fact. She is the one who knows nearly everything about me. She can predict my reactions, finish my sentences, and feel my pain. And I can feel those things for her as well. We have our own jokes, secret language and maybe even some sort of psychic connection.

The love and friendship between sisters is a truly special sacred thing. I hope that someday my daughter is lucky enough to have a sister that she can share such a special bond with.


"Is solace anywhere more comforting than that in the arms of a sister."

..... Alice Walker

Slice and throw

Wednesday I got a package in the mail. So my hubby who always has a pocket knife ready handed me his knife to open it. Rather than opening the package, I opened my finger. I have never cut myself with a knife like this before.

Immediately horrified, I threw the knife (somewhat at hubby) and it managed to take out part of the kitchen table. I then proceeded to get completely hysterical as bled all about the kitchen. Not fun. Luckily it stopped, hubby took care of me, and I have Hello Kitty band aids.

The moral of the story: Next time use scissors.

I love when my hubby plays hooky!

Yesterday Josh decided to take a day off of work so we could hang out. We went to a Burmese Buddhism art exhibit at NIU. http://www.niu.edu/PubAffairs/RELEASES/2004/nov/burmaexhibit.shtml It was really interesting and beautiful, but not quiet. Abby decided she didn't like it there, so she kept yelling. She did this for half of our visit...argh!

After that we drove past our new house. It looks like we'll be getting shingles on our roof soon. Hooray! We also went and checked out a pet store and got some pizza. Yum!

I lost my ball...

Evan was worried that he lost a ball tonight. Here's how the conversation went:

Evan: I need to talk to Daddy (who was in the bathroom)
Me: Why?
Evan: I think I lost my ball(Daddy flushes toilet, then...)
Evan: Nevermind
Me: Did you think it was in the toilet?
Evan: No it's in my pants
Me: It fell in your pants?
Evan: No, it's my privates
(silence)
Evan: You know...., my balls?
Me: Talk to your father!

The Real Women Project

I recently discovered a wonderful site with a purpose of promoting a healthy body image. Check it out! http://realwomenproject.org/

Loving a Large Woman

I have a shirt that says "Beauty is in the thighs of the beholder". I wear it proudly because it is one of the few things I have ever seen that proclaims the beauty of a big girl.

It's not easy being a plus size women. It's hard to find clothes that are not only flattering, but fit your body right. It's harder to find boots that accomadate your larger calves. People look at you funny when you eat. Your friends buy clothing in stores that have nothing in your size. The hardest thing about being plus sized though, is accepting yourself.

Plus size girls don't have a lot of role models. And we need them. We need to feel good about our curvy figures. And we need to learn how to accept our flaws and bask in our beauty.

There are some great websites out there to help in our quest for accepting ourselves.

http://www.volupwoman.com/home.htm

http://www.curvychick.com/

http://www.beautypluspower.com/


Also, check out this book by Jennifer Weiner. It is a story with a plus size heroine who finds out that there are more important things in life than your pants size.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0743418174/qid=1107195557/sr=8-2/ref=pd_csp_2/104-0796090-5178363?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

My Little Sister isn't so "little" anymore....

So today is my little sister's 22nd birthday....

How the heck did she get to be 22?!?! It seems like just yesterday that she was wearing pigtails and Little Mermaid sweatshirts and looking through Bride magazines. (She wanted to be a professional bride, and no I'm not mocking because I wanted to be a Chinese ballerina on ice).

Now she's a senior in college with a serious boyfriend and her own responsibilities. She's an adult. While I feel a certain sense of pride in who she's grown up to be, there's also some fear. The fear if what if she doesn't need her big sister anymore? Now that she's a woman (OMG, she's a WOMAN!, not a little girl) will she still need to call me for advice? Will she still care what I think?

Whether she needs a "big sister" anymore, I am not sure. I do know that she is my best friend and the best sister I could ever want. How did I get so lucky?

Joy in Life

"I pity people who can’t find laughter or at least some bit of amusement in the little doings of the day. I believe I could find something ridiculous even in the saddest moment, if necessary. It has nothing to do with being superficial. It’s a matter of joy in life."

....Sophie Scholl