Not the "best" after all....

Alot of the time when people find out that I have thyroid cancer, they will say something like "Oh I I've heard that thyroid cancer is the best cancer to get". I really hate that. No cancer at all is the "best". Yes, I know that I have been given an 80% chance of cure and yes I am thankful for that. But I'd much rather not have cancer at all.

I also hate when people minimize what I am going through because they have heard that thyroid cancer is the "best to get". I am upset that I have cancer. I am sad that I've spent the last 8 months of my life dealing with it. I am sad and sometimes even angry at what cancer has caused me to give up in the last 8 months. I hate that I have a big red scar across my throat. I hate that I have to take medicine every day for the rest of my life. I hate that I may not ever more children because of this cancer. I hate that I have to go to the doctor every month. I really hate that next month I will be getting my scan, waiting for the results and praying that I don't have to another dose of radioactive iodine and spend another 10 days secluded from my family.

So, you see...it's not the "best". It's actually something sad that has taken my life on another path. It's something that has been hard on me. It's something that's caused me to gain weight, lose sleep and feel as energetic as a hiberating bear on a good day. It's put a strain on my relationships and my family.

So please don't tell me it's the best kind of cancer to have. Don't act like it's nothing. Don't be freaked out if I want to talk about it, or if I don't. Don't tell me I'm fine or that I'm going to be fine. Don't be shocked if I talk about death. It's something that is on my mind more than it used to be. And please, don't complain to me every time I see or talk to you about how tired you are. You can't guess how I tired I am.

Forgive me for complaining. Sometimes I need to.